Matt Spoke: The first institution

Cultural renewal begins not in an election, not in a campaign, but in the ordinary work of raising kids and holding families together, writes Guest Contributor Matt Spoke.

(The Boating Party, by Mary Cassat.)

Matt Spoke is a real estate entrepreneur and the co-founder of Project Ontario.

It seems impossible to avoid politics these days.

Almost any topic, no matter how small it might seem, turns into a public debate. Online, everyone seems to have a take to illustrate how much they care about whatever the issue of the day might be. Conservatives have fallen into this same habit too. We’ve started believing that culture can be fixed through catchy content or theatrical debate. But in reality, culture is not something you can win online. It’s something that you live. And although it comes with less fanfare, culture doesn’t originate in Parliament or on social media, it starts at home.

Family is the first institution. It’s where we learn responsibility, discipline, and love. It’s where we figure out how to care about something bigger than ourselves. Every civilisation depends on parents who decide that the world is worth bringing children into. They don’t issue manifestos or run campaigns, they just quietly build homes, raise kids, and hand down the habits that keep a society strong.

Increasingly today, many conservatives feel like something has gone wrong in our country. We see a culture that has lost its sense of direction, and our instinct is to respond politically. We rally around policies and slogans aimed at correcting the cultural rot that our opponents undoubtedly caused. We find purpose in that fight. Eventually, though, we’ll realise that real cultural renewal can’t simply be legislated. It starts when normal people take responsibility for the future in their own lives and live the cultural change they want to see in our society. The best way to do that is to start a family.

That choice cuts against the grain of our current culture. We’re told that freedom means avoiding obligations and that fulfilment comes from travel, career, or self-expression. But that kind of freedom is simply leading to people feeling lonely and purposeless. In fact, real freedom is born from love and duty, concepts that are core to building a family. A child changes the way you think about time, purpose, and legacy. In its deepest form, love for your family teaches you to think long term and to be inherently optimistic about the future. These are good things.

These lessons are deeply conservative. They remind us that life has limits and meaning, and that we owe something to the future. When fewer people marry or have children, our country loses its sense of continuity. People become more anxious, isolated, and focused on the present. We see the effects everywhere, in politics, in culture, and in the way we talk to each other. A society that stops building families eventually stops believing in itself.

That’s why the conservative movement cannot only be about policy or performance. It has to be about example. We can’t talk about restoring tradition while living like it doesn’t matter. It isn’t enough to defend “family values” as a slogan; we have to live them.

Some conservative voices have gotten this right. Charlie Kirk was one of them. He challenged young conservatives (men in particular) to stop waiting for permission to grow up, to get married, have children, and take responsibility for the next generation. That message matters as much in Canada as it does in the United States. Building a family is one of the most radical things you can do in a culture that primarily values self-interest. It’s how you change the future, one household at a time.

Our younger politicians, organisers, and influencers should take that message seriously. The movement needs their energy and ambition, but it also needs their example. Family life doesn’t hold you back from leadership, but rather, it grounds it. It gives you skin in the game and demands that you live by your convictions.

None of this is easy. Starting a family today takes courage. Housing is expensive, childcare is complicated, and our culture often dismisses the traditional roles of parents. But the decision to start a family is ultimately an act of optimism. It says that you believe this country has a future worth giving to your children. Every generation before us faced their own versions of uncertainty, and they built families anyway. That’s why we’re all here. If we want Canada to recover its confidence, we have to rediscover that same faith in the future.

Edmund Burke once wrote, “To love the little platoon we belong to in society is the first principle of public affections. It is the first link in the series by which we proceed towards a love to our country and to mankind.” Family teaches us how to love our country. The habits we learn at home, like patience, responsibility, forgiveness, scale up into public life. A country full of strong families will always be stronger than one that relies on government or ideology to fill that gap.

That’s where cultural renewal begins. Not in an election, not in a campaign, but in the ordinary work of raising kids and holding families together. Politics can help create conditions for families to thrive, but it can’t replace them. The hard work of rebuilding our culture will come from people who choose to build families, stay married, and quietly show up for each other over the long haul.

If you want to shape Canada’s future, have children. If you are frustrated by declining values, have children. If you love this country but not its current direction, have children. If you seek purpose and legacy, have children.

If you want a more conservative Canada, don’t start a podcast. Start a family.

Matt Spoke is a real estate entrepreneur, a board member of the Canada Strong and Free Network, and a co-founder and contributor to Project Ontario.